I had one of those wonderful clarifying moments tonight.
I had my usual weekly girls train game night where i sit at a table with my 4 girlfriends and we pretend to play a game while we talk about everything.......and i mean everything.......I'm pretty sure the husband walked in at one stage when we were talking placentas and the next time maternity bras (with visuals!!!!). One of the Subjects tonight was of a personal nature to my girlfriend and her relationship and it sparked quite an opinionated discussion amongst us, the rest of the conversations were about birth (of course) and any other topic that we stumbled upon.
When i was in the shower thinking about the evening and the conversations we had i had my wonderfully clarifying moment...........We talk about thing we don't understand!!!!
A few years ago a friend of mine stopped talking to me. I had no idea why or what i had done. Months later we reconnected and she told me that she had heard i was talking about her and saying she was a bad mother. She realized that she had been wrong and that she was sorry and that next time she would come to me to find the truth. (turns out the next time she didn't as she isn't talking to me again and i have no idea why!!!)
Tonight while i was with my girlfriends it dawned on me...........We talk about what we don't understand. I must admit i had talked with other girlfriends about this friend, I had never said she was a bad mother but we did discuss her situation like we discuss everything we don't understand. Sometimes you need to talk to someone outside the situation, you are not saying anything about the person you are just trying to understand.
So remember next time you hear someone talking about you behind your back think before you act.......Are they bitching about me or are they just trying to understand!!!!!
Very sensible advice.
ReplyDeleteAnd also to not say anything to someone else that we wouldn't say to the person themselves. I hate it when ppl stop talking to you and you have no idea why though. *shakes head*
OMG!! I love this post. It is so true. Some people think of it as bitching - but you are right in saying that we discuss with those trusted friends things that we don't understand to try and gain better clarity, and to better understand the situation, and that everyone has an opinion, a different parenting style, and a different attitude to life. Just look at all of us - we are all so different, yet we are the best of friends. Remember - that friend isn't talking to any of us either - and we are equally as confused! But its not worth the fight. We shall concentrate on those things important - the BTC + our new addition who will join the ranks soon (Breastfeeding is such a gift! lol)... Sorry for the long post....
ReplyDeleteOh Bugger! Think this one might be about me? Is this because Im not friends with you guys on Facebook anymore? Honestly, I decided that those who werent actually interacting with me a lot on there probably werent that interested in my ramblings. Strangely enough, some people arent *rolls eyes at self*. Facebook is only a fun social media thing to me, I have tons of friends in real life who Im not "friends" with on there. So I didnt mean for it to be a hurtfull thing at all! Very sorry!
ReplyDelete....Or you could be talking about someone else entirely, in which case, I feel a bit silly :P
J x x