Not have a routine!! Set a goal week 2....

Ok so i am back!! One of my last posts was about having a blogging routine which at the time I thought was a great thing to do, it would keep me structured and I would have a plan. Since then I have been thinking alot........I managed to stay with this routine for 3 days. It then came to keeping up my routine and I got bored. It wasn't that the routine wasn't fantastic and completely inspired (he he he ) it was that I now had pressure on me. Pressure to keep up with what I had to do, pressure to do it right. I had all these ideas that I wanted to write about but it didn't fit with what I was "supposed" to be doing. So I didn't do anything. I didn't do my scheduled blog or the next one. Then I felt silly because I hadn't blogged for a couple of days so I hid. (it helped that I have been genuinely busy but I was still hiding).

I have been thinking since I started hiding why I was doing it. What it was that made me not want to do something I had so much fun doing. Then it hit me.......it's the same reason why I have become the size I am, it's the same reason why I don't stick with anything. I HATE being made to do something. I know it is me who is making me do it but I hate being told what to do. So...............I know it is Monday and I am meant to set my goals on Sunday (I think this is one part of the routine I want to keep) but I am going to make a goal.

During this week I need to find a way to exercise without having to schedule it in. I need to be spontaneous but still keep up with a plan. That is my challenge.

Oh and by the way with my goal of using my cream I did it every night for the week of the challenge. I pushed through, there were some nights I was so tired and couldn't be bothered but I pushed through and put that cream on. However since then i have gone back to my old ways so my secondary goal is to keep putting on the cream.

Ask for help!!

Good evening all.

First thing i would like to say tonight is HI to all my new members and i would like to apologize for being so slack. I remembered today that i was meant to draw my apron giveaway on Thursday. So i will do that tomorrow and let you know the winner........good luck!!!

Now for the point of this blog (and i am sorry in advance about the content). I am having a bad mummy moment. My beautiful eldest daughter started kindergarten this week. She is 4 turning 5 in a few months and i always thought she was ready for school. However today (her second day of school) i get a call from the school asking me to come down and clean her up as she has done a poo and it has gone all up her back. I talked to her about it tonight and she told me that she tried to wipe but it was to messy (sorry for the graphic details but hey most of us are mums) so she sat in the toilets crying until someone found her. In the back of my mind I know she is not the first kindy kid to not be able to wipe her butt properly but it breaks my heart.

When Belly was a baby and i went to mothers group i saw all these "perfect" mums who had it all together. Their babies were "perfect", there lives were "perfect" and i was not. I was falling apart. One day i couldn't hold it in any longer and when Belly started to cry i just looked at her and burst into tears in front of all these "perfect" mothers. I felt like a failure until one of them told me about how they broke down at the post office, and another broke down at the supermarket. It was then i realized they weren't perfect they just felt like they had to be.

I am having one of those moments now. I am hearing fabulous stories about how everyone is doing so well at school and i am breaking down because my daughter can't wipe her bottom (she can most of the time) and she didn't eat her sandwich at lunch today because the cheese was melted.

So i need your help. I need you to tell me your kids weren't perfect when they started school. I need to know i am not alone staring at my baby crying because i feel like a failure.

So do you have a story? I would love to hear it!